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How to be Unforgettable

Unforgettable, that's what you are... When we hear that old Nat King Cole classic love song, we all like to think we are unforgettable too, for all the right reasons. But though they say that love is blind, it can also be very forgetful. We all are unique and so should be unforgettable, but if even the most famous sirens of our age have patchy relationships and on occasion are treated as a disposable resource when it comes to love, what hope for the rest of us? Being amazing is no guarantee that our lovers will remember what is so special about us. There are many self-help books and many gurus that promise to make the art of love into something as simple as a recipe. Take one man, prepare him with a slow simmer of flirtation and a touch of spice, bring him to a rolling boil and serve him twice daily. But however high our hopes may be, inevitably for many, as statistics show, relationships break down with tedious regularity. So how can we show our lover that we are unique, indispensable, irreplaceable and so improve our relationship? Or should the worst happen, how can we ensure that we are not so easily forgotten, that the AWOL lover will eventually see sense and return - if we want them too of course.

couple eating together

There are ways... But first I would say to all readers, if there is someone you love and are with now, don't wait till any cracks may appear, these methods of showing your glorious self off, to greatest advantage need to be taken now, so start making yourself unforgettable wherever you are in a relationship, the earlier the better. One of the ways to be unforgettable is to bring your lover new experiences and food and drinks are good places to start. Like any living thing, love needs nourishing to survive. We all remember the first time we ate oysters, or that juicy northern, delicacy chip butties, or lobster or Scottish pancakes, warm from the griddle, lusciously spread with creamy Devonshire butter. Obviously, to be pleasantly unforgettable rather than an unforgettably vile memory, these experiences need to be delicious. And for men, the stomach really is a fast avenue to the heart. The woman, or man, that introduces their lover to new gastronomic heights of dribbling ecstasy will be remembered, each time the lover smells, eats, or drinks this new favourite of theirs. You don't need to be psychic, just openly ask which foods, dishes or drinks they haven't yet tried and why. A mistake women often make though, is to go to town trying to please a man, when he is not yet fully committed to her or not giving her much of his heart yet. So, if he hasn't yet seen the light, don't waste much time in the kitchen for him, not until he's earned it, but you can sometimes pay him back for his generosity by buying a 'ready prepared' banquet, some new sumptuous delicacies and piling the sink with pots and pans, as though you've laboured like a true domestic goddess. In all things, wait until he has earned the reward and then reward him with something that's new to him, he'll appreciate your efforts more that way. Obviously don't ask him if he ever eats lobster, he may well say no, you serve it, disguised in a 'ready prepared' recipe, to find out it's because your evening is then spent in casualty, with his anaphylactic shock, the allergy he failed to mention and his new cod-like, permanently puckered lips, which strangely are not smiling at you anymore. Find out if he's ever tried the wine, the dish, the new culinary experience, if not, why not.

People often underestimate themselves, they think their tastes are pretty much formed by their 30's. But it is only our associations that often make the difference between loving something and being indifferent. Perhaps your man has limited tastes in music; try playing him a CD of something that is allied to what he likes, but just a few moves away. Or perhaps your lover only likes Sci-Fi films, find out what it is he loves about them and watch a film together that fulfils that pleasure, but in a totally different genre. Maybe your lover has never been abroad, so when he suggests a holiday, encourage him to turn native in climes sultry. Or if he always likes to go abroad, take him to some of the 'wilder shores' in the UK, a city break in Edinburgh during the fringe festival, a holiday in a lighthouse in Devon, or the wing of a Scottish castle; there are so many secret delights the UK has to offer that are exciting, beautiful and intensely romantic.

Whenever you can widen your lover's horizons and enjoy sharing new things together, which is so very bonding and much more conducive to long term love than always having the same safe tried and trusted experiences, you have added to your unforgettable allure.

You live together, it's a wet Saturday afternoon in some suburban town; he's half asleep on the sofa. You know you will both have to go and do the weekly shopping and get dinner prepared afterwards in a couple of hours. So why not go and get your palms psychically read first? That will give you both hours of conversation and something you can be sure he will never forget. If he thinks he's highbrow and likes Opera and art house films, take him to Karaoke and get him to join in, bun-gee jumping, salsa dancing, a comedy club, bowling; show him a world he hasn't seen. Or if he very humbly thinks highbrow is above his abilities and probably a bore, show him the finer things, an art house film that has a theme that would interest him, tell him it's because you know he's a closet intellectual, 'so brainy, gasp.' When he asks you where you want to go one weekend, take him to an outdoor classical concert with music that is especially stirring, with synchronised fireworks, he'll soon see, that his tastes are wider than he thought. Serve him a 'posh' meal on his birthday; show him that he is really a sophisticate just waiting to be liberated, by you. But never ever give your lover the slightest feeling that you are trying to change them, that their tastes aren't good enough or enough fun for you, that would be very unendearing. You are not finding fault with their lifestyle, you are just having fun together in some new ways as well as the old. So remember too, to always show that you are willing and receptive to sharing their already established hobbies and pleasures, if you're invited.

couple singing karaoke together

So if your girl hasn't time to look after herself much, always on the go, why not book a spa day for you both at some luxurious hotel, package deals need not be expensive. Conversely, if she's the type of girl who is always frightened to chip the nail varnish from her acrylic nail extensions, take her riding one Saturday. It doesn't matter if you can't ride either, you can take a lesson together and both discover new sides of yourselves, while laughing frequently, as you both learn not to fall off your horses. N.B., Be prepared to offer to pay the bill for the new nails she may need after her first canter. Or perhaps she's a night-club queen; her idea of sophistication is a paper napkin with her McDonalds, so take her to the theatre, to see a comedy or a musical that is exuberant. Book your seats in a romantic box and make her feel like your Queen for the evening, remember to bring chocolates and maybe even a little corsage of flowers for her décolleté. On another occasion, as she already loves dancing, why not expand her interest, perhaps suggest taking her to a belly dancing class and join in (women love a man who can laugh at himself) or Scottish dancing? Whatever your lover's lifestyle is, turn it around sometimes and help them to see the opposite spectrum of pleasures or another untried side of what they already enjoy.

But what if your lover is a real stick in the mud, totally resistant to trying anything new? Obviously it wouldn't be a wise move to nag them over it, or glare and go into a lip trembling sulk as they bark "NO," at your wonderfully thought out idea. There's no point arguing, you want to create good memories not rows. Everyone thinks they know what they like, you can't use the argument that 'you can't know until you try it.' Because it's wisest not to use any argument, don't say anything, just smile and take a mental note of looking for something new that is closely related to what they already enjoy. If he loves football and you want him to leave Blighty and go abroad on holiday for the first time and he's stamped on the idea, find out when an international match that would excite him, is next being played in Europe, then suggest you go to the game together, a weekend for two; 'softly softly catchee monkey.'

couple on quadbike

And what's the point of all of this effort on your part? He, or she, will never forget the new things they share with you and you will never forget the pleasure of introducing new things to them and perhaps to yourself too. For the rest of their lives, each time they hear that music, smell that scent of the flowers you bought in that corsage, eat that biscuit, that dish, drink that drink, go to that place, take part in that new activity, they will be irresistibly reminded of you. On top of that, you will have changed their perspective in subtle but far reaching ways, you will have brought new colour to their lives, enriched it with so many new experiences, that without you, life would be flat and grey. You will have added a magic sparkle to their existence, a new zest. As we all know, when we are children everything is new and exciting, a year seems an age, time seems to pass so slowly, so many adventures packed into one day, because we are doing everything for the first time and you will have brought that very same excitement back into your lover's life. You can never be forgotten because you will be that very spark which makes life interesting, fresh and thrilling once more and with those pleasures and new excitements you will always be associated, unforgettably; you've cast your own magic love spell over your lover, forever. If you can bring a steady flow of new experiences into your lover's life, you wont need a signature scent, just about every enjoyable part of life will have wonderful memories of you written all over it, like Brighton rock. You will have become their joie de vivre, the spice of life. Unforgettable, that's what you are...


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