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How To Get Love Commitment From Your Man - If You Really Want It

They say every girl wants her special day, her wedding day, hearts, butterflies, flowers and Disneyesque sparkles, shimmering in the air, a handsome groom who dotes, the stuff of dreams for some, nightmares for others. We want to get married; women's Cri de Coeur and men tremble and flee as though their women have turned into ravenous tigers, intent on eating them whole. So why do the sexes usually see loving commitment in such polar opposite ways?

Men reveal that they are used to women wanting to net, catch, and bind them with unbreakable chains and reinforced leg irons; they feel that all women have one agenda, trapping them forever, rather then, as we see it, loving forever. As Oscar Wilde said: "Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance." This is what men expect from women, so men are on their guard. They don't often seem to see commitment and marriage as the beautiful fairy tale tableau that women do. They see bars, padlocks and his n her matching cells, in which these guys are starved forever of freedom, choices, other women, chances, even sex in the long term (babies and the post natal weight we may sport, can be such an impediment to men's libidos, men complain). The positive sides of this padded and flower-bestrewn kingdom don't often seem to occur to them, except when first in love. And heaven forefend sister, that you should ever mention the 'M' word, expect your love to react the same way as if you had instantly morphed into a lustful gorilla with bedroom eyes and handcuffs.

love commitment

Kim has been living with her partner for 4 years, "I'm fed up," she says, "we're happy together, we get on well, but there's no movement in our relationship, it's stagnant. He just doesn't seem to want to take that final step."

What has Kim done about this, I ask her?

"Done? What can I do! I've thought of ultimatums, but that's not very romantic, I don't want him to feel forced, I'd like him to want to be with me forever, not to have to hold an Uzi to his head."

Quite, we women so understand. But where does the impetus come from, for him to change and make that leap forward, he has all he wants already, or rather he thinks he does. Tracey who recently left her partner of 2 years says:

"I'd had enough of him sitting on his hands! I told him, if he didn't think I'm the one then I'm not going to waste anymore time on him, and I walked out."

Three cheers for Tracey, but does she regret it?

"I regret wasting time with him, I regret falling in love and believing all the lines he fed me, for two years! I mean does he think he's so precious he can't be replaced? I've so much more to offer than he does, he's a fool!"

I ask Tracey why she was with him if she feels like that?

"Because I love him, but if he's so much the fool he can't see how worthwhile I am, then he belongs where he is, the rubbish bin, mouldering his life away in his own stinking stasis. "
Asking for commitment, mentioning the dreaded 'M' word, is nearly always counterproductive, certain death to ever getting commitment from your man. It makes a guy feel you are about to cast your lasso, and hog bind him, striking terror into his delicate soul. Of course he runs screaming for mummy to make that nasty woman go away. Another no no, is to mention babies, or wanting to be a mother some day. However if you should ever wish to be rid of your guy forever, stare into his eyes, grip his hand like a vice, and tell him eagerly: 'I want babies soon, someone to help wash the nappies, my biological clock is ticking fast, oh and I want to get married too, do you have any preferences, because I've chosen St Michael's Church, such a sweet and romantic venue.' Watch that man go! Watch him out run the four minute mile! You'll never hear from him again. It works like magic every time, plus if you don't want him, you're doing him a favour by vastly improving his heart rate, his running stamina and speed. It's a kindness.

just married

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